Is jus ...

[WARNING! -TOO WORDY!] 

[AND SORRY FOR DE POOR SENTENCE STRUCTURE IF THERE IS :/]

Totally break down ):

Is just part of life that we human have to go through be it happy or sad!

I dunno what happen to me either I just can't take it anymore! Is like ever since intern end, I feel so lost! I dunno what I want! 

I dunno whether to continue study, step out to the society and work or what!! 

Well, actually I intend to step out and work, gain more experience, earn some money! This is actually giving myself abit more time to think what I wanna do in the future and also saving up to pay school fee if I found out what I am interested in and wanna go for it. 

But I also wanna continue to study - this choice of mine, I think cos I am trying to avoid and chosen this path! Cos I dunno what I wanna do! I have difficulties find job and more and more! 

After much consideration, I think I am just gonna face reality! 

After all the interviews not even one company want me): 

So, I decided not to wait anymore! I am just gonna take any job that offer me now! Be it tough/ relax or what I am just gonna work! 

And so yeah, I am starting work TOMORROW!!!!

Though de pay is low, the job is gonna be tiring, BUT to survive, I am gonna work!!!!!

And, this is not the first time I am working such tough job so what to worry!!! HAHA

I can do it right :D 

Back to topic! Why I actually break down!

Partly cos I feel so useless! Dunno what I wanna do with my life (future)! No companies actually wanna hire me! My result is so ... that I don't think any school want me! And, I feel life is kinda unfair :/

But, after cooling down and think...

1. I am not useless! Just that I have not come to a conclusion what I wanna do with my life!

2. Companies doesn't want me, maybe cos god think that I don't suit the job! (well, I know is kinda self comfort! :P)

3. Result like ... is not my choice! Cos I am really not a study person but at least I passed and graduated!!! So I should feel grateful ya!

4. Unfair? Yeap life is unfair! But I believe life will get better! Is like, we have this bar in our life (containing the good fortune & bad fortune!) Yesh, life for me is tough since I was little! But I always tell myself that I am clearing my bad fortune and welcoming my good fortune! So I always believe though life is tough now, one day, when I finish clearing my bad fortune, life will be better and that is the start of good fortune(:

Unfair?

When I was little, I am not pretty (not like I'm pretty now but alittle better than before!), I dun think I am that fat to the extend :/ (but others think I am!), I am not smart (not like I am smart now but also alittle better now!)

1. Look? - you see quotes and all say looks doesn't matter but the inner heart matter! Well, that is not totally true! Looks still matters! Everyone's first impression is how u look! (during interview, an average looking girl and a pretty girl, mostly the pretty girl will get in :/) If you are pretty is like a ++ point! Pretty girls is like a flower all the butterfly, bees will surround you! But if you are not, is like grass! People just dun bother to look at you! I am not saying not average lookin girls don't have friends! But, we need more time than those pretty girls out there to make friend with people! Like communicate more and let them accept you by heart!

I once have friends who treat me like ... cos I am not as pretty as my bestfren!(They treat me good cos I am the bestfren of that prettygirl) It hurts totally that when I think back, I will be tearing! But everything is alright now, they apologies and promise to treat us equally cos like after years of knowing me! (:

2. Fat? - Nope, I am not fat! I am jus not as slim as those pretty girls! I am slightly plump? Cos my tight is like abit too big :/ or in a better term muscular? haha!!

Sometimes, we can't choose how we look! I did try my very best to slim down!! The more I exercise, my leg do slim alittle but it become more muscular :/

But, after thinking, I just wanna be myself! I don't wanna care what people think! Yesh, I might look plump but I know I am healthy! Yesh, judge whatever you want cos it wouldn't affect me actually! 

Experience? Of cos! There is this one time, I was sitting outside of 7 11 with my friend! This bunch of low class guys just judge me! Say I'm ugly I'm fat and all! The funny thing is HELLO! I don't even know you and you judge me?! Well, that was a few years back I'm still not mature enough to not care about what other think! So, I felt quite sad for days :/ making me paranoid! My family also like to make fun of me and call me names! Though I know they are kidding & not being serious about what they say but still it hurts :/ It take times for me to accept their joke! Well, I am still paranoid now! Like I MIND what people think! Like whether I'm fat? I'm pretty? and all! But now I am trying to care less and be myself!!!

3. Unfair? - I always think life is unfair and complain and complain but after thinking true is not call unfair is call challenges to make us a better person! 

Like, I used to complain why I am not good looking enough! Why I am not born in a rich family? Why I have to worried about this and that! But because of all this challenges, I have grown up!

1. Looks is not everything! Looks cannot last! We people grow old so eventually looks wouldn't matter! Be yourself, treat everyone with ur heart and eventually you will find friends that are worth being with(:

2. Rich is not everything too! Born in a average income family teaches me how to spent my money wisely! Teaches me how earning money is difficult/ tough! Teaches me having lots of money is not everything! What we people need is care from family & friends! And of cause, living happily every single day^^

3. Because of all the challenges coming in my life, we understand people better, know how they feel! Treat people fairly, friendly not rudely and of cause respect people who are older than me and all! 

Well, no matter you guys who read this agree/disagree with what I said, is just my opinion! All the examples of myself is not written for sympathy is mainly example! Of cause there is even more less fortunate people than me like experience even worst situation than me! But to ya all, life will be better!!!

DON'T GIVE UP! 

JIAYOUS!

There's a saying 人在做天在看! (direct translate is like god is looking at your every move!)

Usually is use for situation like evil people doing evil stuff so people say that to like say that one day they will have their karma! 

But, I am gonna use it in a good way! 

Though we might suffer now, eventually, we will get what we deserve! So never give up! Think that you are clearing your bad fortune!!! HEHE ♥